Is there a special sister who's helped you get through a challenge or reach a goal? What are you proudest of accomplishing with the help of others? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
In 2019, I wanted to ramp up my hiking, so I joined GirlTrek. To save a few coins, I decided to forgo a monthly gym membership in exchange for local greenways. Long, scenic walks coupled with virtual history lessons were everything I needed to decompress. To add icing to the cake, my virtual walking group was popping. We held each other accountable and checked in frequently to make sure we were completing our challenges regularly.
Just like Yolande and her success partner, Bri and I have been texting each other weekly–and when either one of us gets caught slipping, we show each other grace while still providing much-needed encouragement.
A few years later, I fell off the hiking train. Life was life-ing and the pandemic was pandemic-ing. We’ve all been there. Tired, withdrawn, and ready to quit. But all it took was meeting a new accountability buddy on a friendship app to get me back into the walking game.
I had a lot in common with my new ‘accountabilibuddy,’ Bri, who I met on Instagram. We were both mamas to young children, writers, and desperate to get back into our workouts despite being busy. We initially chatted for a few months until we finally met in person (which is what our partnership looks like now–a little bit online and texting with in-person hangouts once per month)
Bri shows grace, but holds no punches in snapping me back together.
This is the kind of support that Yolande Clark-Jackson, 53, has counted on for her fitness goals. “Perimenopause was rough – and it required a complete shift in the types of workouts I was doing. I don’t know if I would have had energy to make changes like incorporating more resistance and flexibility training if I didn’t have an accountability buddy to push me towards my goals,” says Clark-Jackson.
Just like Yolande and her success partner, Bri and I have been texting each other weekly–and when either one of us gets caught slipping, we show each other grace while still providing much-needed encouragement.
“You’ve got this, Sis! Let’s not focus on what we couldn’t do today, but what we are capable of doing tomorrow,” is a message I frequently receive from my walking and writing partner, Bri. She shows grace, but holds no punches in snapping me back together. I’m better at in-person hype girling, but Bri is amazing at sending reminders to keep us on track.
While we started with the intention of simply being workout buddies, it’s because of Bri that I was able to finish an extended book proposal.
While we started with the intention of simply being workout buddies, it’s because of Bri that I was able to finish an extended book proposal. Because she’s also working on a book, we encouraged each other to carve out 30 minutes per day until we both finished our projects. Having her help was different than any of my non-writing friends because she has gone through the process–and is fully aware of all the blood, sweat, and tears that goes into writing a book.
What is an accountabilibuddy?
Finishing a degree? Participating in a money savings challenge? Want to incorporate more plant-based foods in your diet? Although Black women are the masters of getting it done, it doesn’t have to be a solo act.
An accountabilibuddy (accountability + buddy) is someone that holds you down and supports your efforts in just about anything. Also referred to as an accountability partner, or ride-or-die, these are the people who help us reach our goals and get to the finish line.
Key benefits
Recent studies have even shown that individuals may have a 95 percent chance of completing any goal if doing it with an accountability partner.
No matter the type, some important advantages of accountabilibuddies are:
● Respectful and empathetic communication
● Frequently offering and receiving unprompted encouragement
● Honest and forthcoming advice about progress and support
● Warm and inviting check-ins
● A safe space to bounce ideas off of each other
Finding a great partner (and being a great accountabilibuddy to someone else)
There are two types of accountabilibuddies. One can serve as a mentor, while the other is more of an equal partner. The mentor has performed the activity or goal before, but the partner is actually doing it with you. Each buddy should be available to give gentle nudges, while also being open to sharing and accepting feedback.
If you have an accountability buddy, you can count on increased motivation to finish tasks, complete your goals, and imagine the impossible. It’s a win-win for both parties!
You can find accountabilibuddies just about anywhere. Check your existing contact list for family and friends that you trust and easily get along with. Other places to find support are online communities such as Sisters From AARP Soul Sanctuary on Facebook,, mentorship programs, mastermind groups, friendship apps, and like-minded coworkers.
It truly takes a village! So, if you’re joining a book club, signing up for fitness classes, asking a friend if they’ve walked or taken a few deep breaths today, practice being the change you want to see in an accountability partnership. And if you could use an extra push, go on and get yourself an accountabilibuddy!
Is there a special sister who's helped you get through a challenge or reach a goal? What are you proudest of accomplishing with the help of others? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
