Do you find sanctuary and solidarity at the salon? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
It’s Saturday morning and you’re beauty shop bound. It’s been a long week, and you’re ready to sit back, unwind and get pampered. Whatever hair troubles you have are now in the hands of your trusty hairstylist. They’ve got you. No need to get all dolled up — who’s judging? Leave your filter at home — no conversation is off limits. And don’t fire up the kettle — there’ll be plenty of “tea.” Just have a seat, make yourself at home and get ready for some good laughs, deep lessons and sisterly bonding. (A fresh do is a bonus.)
As Black women, getting our hair done is much more than beauty maintenance; it’s a therapeutic experience — and hairstylists and mental health professionals alike are starting to recognize this. “I’ve cried, and I’ve prayed with clients,” says Deanna Coats, owner of and stylist at De Shaney Hair Salon in Michigan. "I had a client who had so much on her plate. She was a medical resident … she had recently had a baby and life was stressful. She was trying to balance life while looking professional … I think she connected with me because she saw I was a wife, with five children, managing businesses and going through school, all while remaining sane. She has now become a regular.”
PsychoHairapy, an organization founded by psychologist and Black hair expert Afiya Mbilishaka, Ph.D., uses “hair as an entry point into mental health care,” according to the website. Hairstylists can take a 12-hour training course where they learn the history of Black hair, the signs and symptoms of mental health disorders and how to emotionally attend to their clients.
There’s something about wearing a cape and a conditioning cap that sparks a sense of emotional vulnerability that will find us sharing personal details with a stranger in the same getup.
The connection between hair and mental health is also being made in the motherland. The Bluemind Foundation, a non-profit organization founded by executive and author Marie-Alix de Putter, is reducing mental health stigma in Africa and making mental health care more accessible by offering similar training through Heal by Hair. The program offers three days of training, teaching hairstylists the basics of mental health and how to identify the common signs of mental health issues in their clients — and they seem to be onto something. According to the website, 150 hairstylists across several countries in Africa have completed the training. Additionally, through their own research, they’ve found that out of 714 women and 148 hairdressers, more than half of the women confided in their hairstylists, and 91 percent of the hairstylists were ready for training.
For many of us, the beauty shop is a safe haven where we can let our hair down (literally and figuratively) and relate to and learn from other Black women. Susan Page, one of Coats’ clients, can attest to this: “Throughout my professional life, both in the U.S. and in my many overseas assignments, the first thing I do after arriving in my new city is find a place to do my hair,” she says. “I love the ‘me time’ at the beauty shop, especially having my hair washed and my scalp massaged. I also love the variety of people that come into the salon — learning their stories and talking and laughing with them and with my stylist. The hair salon is a place of community and trust. It’s easy to share my joys and sorrows in a place that feels safe and comfortable.”
There’s something about wearing a cape and a conditioning cap that sparks a sense of emotional vulnerability that will find us sharing personal details with a stranger in the same getup. Think about it: Letting people see you only halfway done can feel too personal. But at the beauty shop, there’s some sort of mutual understanding that eliminates any form of judgement, making it easier for us to open up to each other.
Struggling to be authentic without oversharing? Consider why you’re divulging certain details and what can come out of it. Will opening up lead to your own personal growth? Are your words just what the other person needs to hear to heal? When speaking with intention, you’ll likely share just enough without saying too much or overburdening.
Consider why you’re divulging certain details and what can come out of it. When speaking with intention, you’ll likely share just enough without saying too much or overburdening.
This level of cultural bonding is a form of self-care we’ve had access to for generations, but probably never realized. I like to think of it as a physical, mental and spiritual reset, as we prepare to take on the week ahead looking and feeling our best. And considering how significant our strands are to our identity makes it matter that much more. Whether we’re getting our hair done professionally or caring for it at home, the amount of love and attention we pour into each strand is a testament to self-love. Plus, it just makes you feel fabulous, like there’s nothing in this world you can’t conquer. (I don’t know about you, Sis, but when my hair looks good, all else is good.)
Whether our hairstylists have been trained to deal with our wellness woes or not, we reap the healing benefits every time we sit in their chair. Even the experience of safe touch, like a good scalp massage at the sink, can have a therapeutic effect. Many of us have been going to the same hairdresser for years, so it’s no wonder we tend to build such close-knit relationships with them. I’ve been seeing my hairstylist since high school, and it’s amazing to see how our relationship has evolved from surface-level talk to deep, real talk. I truly appreciate her words of wisdom, and for allowing me to be as vulnerable as I want to be in her chair. I’ve walked out of the salon feeling brand new some days.
Essentially, we have a built-in friend at the beauty shop, and hairstylists don’t get enough credit for the role they play in not only our self-care, but in our life. So at your next salon visit, be sure to thank yours for caring for your crown while listening to what’s on your mind and your heart. Thank them for the advice. The encouragement. The belly laughs. The juicy gossip. And let them know how much you cherish the safe space they’ve provided for you to just be.
Do you find sanctuary and solidarity at the salon? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
