What do you do to stay hopeful? What words of encouragement do you have for someone who might need them today? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
I don’t know about you, but I want to stick around this place for a long time. Many years ago, while working on an article, I interviewed several centenarians (folks who have lived to be 100 and older) about what they thought helped them to live so long. One thing that kept popping up was optimism and having a positive mindset.
Obviously, they were living proof. Research also backs this up. A study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society followed 160,000 women of diverse racial and ethnic backgrounds. It found that women with higher levels of optimism were more likely to live longer, even past age 90, than those who had a not-as-sunny outlook.
Other research suggests optimistic people are better able to cope with stress, have better relationships and have greater life satisfaction.
However, optimism is sometimes easier said than done, especially for us sisters. We have a whole list of things that oppress us daily — racism, gender discrimination, stereotypes, age discrimination, and more — so it can feel like things don’t improve regardless of how much effort you put in, says Jessica Jackson, Ph.D., a licensed psychologist and founder of Therapy Is For Everyone Psychological & Consultation Services in Houston, Texas. That can make it difficult to see the bright side.
Optimism is a skill you can learn
Fortunately, “even if you're not good at being optimistic or thinking positively, it's a skill you can learn and build,” says Dr. Jackson.
Some tips to help you get there:
Maintain a balanced perspective. Do you tune into that 24/7 streaming news channel more than you tune into nature, spirituality, music and arts or meaningful relationships? Leaning into and making time for what matters—the things that nourish us—helps us cultivate the state of equanimity, which means a sense of calm and balance even while under stress.
Be optimistic about optimism. To be clear, optimism doesn’t mean you must sweep stuff under the rug and pretend nothing bad ever happens. “The core of optimism is psychological flexibility, understanding that although bad things could happen, there's a probability that something will go well," says Dr. Jackson. In other words, optimists believe and expect things will be alright.
Begin first thing in the morning. “It can be beneficial to start the day by being optimistic because that mindset can trickle down into the rest of our day,” says Dr. Jackson. When you wake up, look for small things to appreciate, like your morning shower or coffee. Think positive thoughts. And try to make time for something you enjoy, like listening to music.
Avoid negative self-talk. It dampens your view of yourself and the world. Here’s a rule: If you wouldn’t say it to your bestie or sister, don’t say it to yourself.
Reframe stressors. Use what experts call “positive reframing,” or finding positives in difficult situations. For example, if you’re stuck in traffic, rather than blowing your lid, focus on the fact that you now have extra time to listen to that juicy podcast.
Watch the company you keep. Negative emotions are contagious, whether from people or what you watch, listen to and read. Let positive emotions rub off on you instead. Surround yourself with people and media that are uplifting and supportive.
Practice gratitude. “Sometimes we can get so focused on everything that's going wrong that we can't always see what's going right,” says Dr. Jackson. Gratitude helps to remind you of the positives of life, she says. Make it a habit to think about all you have to be grateful for: people, things and experiences.
Plan for the future. According to a recent Pew Research Center survey of Black adults, 58 percent are optimistic they’ll earn enough money in the future to live the life they want. Whether you fall into this percentage or not, healthy money habits can help you have a positive outlook about your financial future.
See your best self possible. Imagine your life being exactly how you want it to be, including your health, career, finances, relationships, hobbies, everything. Do this often. Research shows envisioning your desired future can increase optimism.
Keep at it. How do you get better at something? Practice. Keep trying to be optimistic, and eventually, you’ll realize that you’re seeing your glass as full more often than not.
What do you do to stay hopeful? What words of encouragement do you have for someone who might need them today? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
