Have you discovered a great way to connect with people? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
Loneliness got you down? You’re not alone, and it’s probably not your imagination. Nearly a third of respondents polled by the American Psychiatric Association in January 2024 reported feeling lonely weekly, and 10% were lonely daily. Even worse for us, a 2021 report commissioned by Cigna revealed that 68% of Black adults and 75% of Hispanic adults felt lonely.
Being a strong black woman is empowering. We have a history of creating space for ourselves in the world, advocating for others, and fighting injustice. But it’s also exhausting. We need to hide our weaknesses, try to be everything to everyone (but often forget ourselves,) and fight to maintain our social, economic, and professional status.
“Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders makes it almost impossible to practice self-care and address the things leading to your feelings of loneliness and despair,” said Vanessa Russell in an article for The Roots of Loneliness Project.
Feeling lonely now and again is a normal part of life. Still, if you have constant and unrelenting feelings of being alone, an inability to connect on a deeper level, along with deeply rooted self-doubt, low self-esteem, or social anxiety, it may be chronic loneliness. Talk to your doctor, therapist, or healthcare professional. Then, act today to avoid the risks to your health and well-being. Here’s how to bounce back and be even better starting today.
Join a running or walking group
Doing physical activities with other people might help if you’re battling loneliness. Loneliness is an emotional state related to your need for connection and belonging. Once you meet those needs, you’ll probably feel less lonely. APA pollsters selected three areas where they felt the highest sense of community: family (65%), friends (53%), and their neighborhoods (20%).
Being intentional about spending quality time with others can help you develop relationships that help you feel more supported, uplifted, and loved. Years ago, a friend and I started a Black Girls Run group in our town, and a few of them became, and still are, one of my closest friend groups. More than 12 years later, our group chat is still where we connect to plan gatherings, share funny thoughts, and chat throughout the day. A healthier lifestyle was a bonus.
It doesn’t matter what physical activity you choose. Just do it. Reserve a bowling lane, lace up your skates, or visit a national park. Or, check out Brown People Camping, Black People Hike, or Black Ski, Inc.
Sign up for a paint-and-sip event
Cutting your spending on material things and paying for experiences instead is more gratifying, according to a study in the Journal of Behavioral Decision Making. Plus, you’ll get many returns on your investment. Study participants who did so felt more socially connected to others who made similar purchases and more connected to others in general. They also had a greater desire to engage in social activities. Other payoffs include feeling joy when you do the activity, reflecting on it later, and sharing it with others. So, instead of retail therapy, give yourself the gift of re-tell therapy – with experiences that leave you with stories you can tell and re-tell again and again.
Choose to be alone and “sit with it”
Being alone doesn’t have to mean being lonely if you learn to appreciate the me-time. When loneliness creeps in, don’t bask in negativity since your health and well-being may depend on it. With loneliness comes an increased risk of heart disease (29%), stroke (32%), and dementia in older adults (50%), not to mention depression, anxiety, and premature death.
Instead, create the time and space to be alone and reconnect with yourself. Play music, unwind, reflect, and explore your feelings. Find tangible self-expression in journaling and other creative pursuits like painting, drawing, music, or Michelle Obama’s newest meditative tool, knitting. Practice gratitude to remind yourself of what you’re thankful for and imagine filling your spare time with those things. List what you want to do rather than what you default to with daily habits that no longer bring you joy. Use this list to give yourself a dose of pleasure and something to look forward to when you need it.
Trade social media for face time
Stop mindlessly scrolling and be more mindful of how online time affects you. It might be causing you to feel disconnected.
“Distracting yourself with social media when you’re feeling lonely might be a double-edged sword: while it can connect, it can also lead to feelings of missing out, and we need to make sure we remain conscious of its effects on our mood. In this tech-heavy world, we should not forget the value of in-person interaction,” said APA CEO and Medical Director Saul Levin, M.D., M.P.A., in a press release,
If you have to be online, spend the time wisely. Explore AARP Foundation’s Connect2Affect, which provides resources, tools, and services to help you overcome social isolation.
Have you discovered a great way to connect with people? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
